But today, he came across some interesting, actual, search terms that lead to here, and we just had to give him a chance to report his findings. Orson, take it away!
"Thanks, John. Well, of course we always get an assortment of randoms hits here. Mostly it's just people looking for info on that foodstuff-that-shall-not-be-named, but this week a few really striking search terms just jumped out and grabbed me:
1. "my linden has sooty black stuff on it"
Yep, mine too. Always wondered what that was. And we're nowhere near a coal-fired power plant either.
2. "word of the day elementary science"
Glad to see some of the science words may come in handy. Not sure if any of them are sufficiently elementary though.
3. "watch hill fire island camping mosquito"
This search phrase is rather ambiguously worded, don't you think? Last time I was there, I didn't see any mosquitoes doing Bette Midler impersonations, or dressed in heels and feather boas. On the other hand, I can confirm that there are many, many mosquitoes camping (you know, tents and stuff) on Fire Island. Makes me wonder, does every mosquito in America go on vacation there?
4. "barn swallows religious beliefs"
No I am not making this up. Well, let's see. I can think of two possible meanings here.
First, who knew barn swallows had religious beliefs? Perhaps their god provides mosquitoes from heaven, in place of manna?
Second, I suppose 'swallows' could be a verb. Scary. I don't want to run into that barn.
That's all I have to report. Back to you, John."
Thanks, Orson, that was, um, interesting. Back to the shelf you go.